Saturday, July 31, 2010

I'm holding out.

This was one of the busiest weeks I've had to date since I moved here and I'm LOVING it! I'm a very social person, so I'm just thriving on all the attention I've gotten lately. :) I've been booked up every single night this week and even got to spend a whole day in Sarina with Ashleigh which was SO refreshing. It's so nice to be able to spend time with someone who you can say anything to, even if it's politically incorrect or might make you vulnerable, someone who accepts you as you are....I love that. :) Some of my newer friends in Moranbah can make me feel embarrassed about my opinions or choices sometimes and it makes me feel so free with Ashleigh. I don't have to think, we just hang out and it's easy. And I LOVE her baby Ezra. I think she's my adopted niece, officially. I freaked out the other day because I realized that she's not going to stay a baby forever. I know it should be obvious and it is....but it still is mind boggling that one day soon she'll be speaking to me. And that in 10 years time, which seems like such a short time to me, she's going to be in 5th grade....I think I realized how quickly childhood passes and that scares me. Part of me just wants to freeze her as she is now, so precious and innocent and the whole world is new and exciting to her....but I'm also really excited to see her grow up. I feel so much love for Ezra and she's not even mine, not even blood, so I can't fathom the love Ashleigh must feel for her or what it will feel like when I have my own.

I've felt really happy and fulfilled this week. :) Maybe because my social needs as an extrovert have been met and even exceeded....I don't know. I didn't realize how much I thrive on social interaction, but I feel more alive and motivated this week than I have since I was visiting fam. in Texas so I think I need to start making more dates with people!

I have to be honest about something. I am 100% happy with my life the way it is. I like my freedom and that, you know, if I want to drive out to Sarina for 2 days in the middle of the week I can and that I can go to the gym every day and cook a new recipe for dinner every night and cuddle my kittens and read a book and watch a movie any time I want to...I like my life this way. I've felt pressured by some people to find a job, any job, straight away and I confused that pressure as something I wanted....but it's just confusion. I would LOVE a hairdressing apprenticeship, so I am holding out for that. Period. I don't want to find a random full-time job doing something I hate and adding stress to my life and filling my days with work that leads to no end goal. I wouldn't mind doing some casual work here or there...but I'm not going to hunt down a full time job just because it's what people expect of me or think is best for me or something. I've decided. So, I've given up on admin. work, officially. I'm just not cut out for it. The job description says things like "must have high numeracy skills (ha!) exceptional time management and organization. (ha and HAAA!)" and the list goes on. It describes a person opposite to myself....I get anxiety just thinking about it. *YES* the money is unbelievable...but we don't actually need all that money. We can afford for me to hold out for hairdressing. I'm also just starting to find my groove and happiness in Moranbah and I really don't want to mess that up by throwing a fast-paced desk job into the mix. Maybe this all sounds really spoiled...I don't know. It is a privilege to be able to hold out for something I love. But Chris said that there's already one person in the house doing something they hate for the money and he doesn't do that just so I can go off and do the same thing and be miserable... So I'm holding out. :)

The house is still relatively clean, after a whole WEEK of us living in it too. Surprised? So am I. ;) I even had Mel and Hayley over for dinner tonight just in case this is the only time our house is clean enough to entertain. I should take pictures. LOL

I love y'all! Sorry this isn't a more in depth update, but I'm sleepy and have to go to bed.



  1. I'm so happy you're thriving in a small town environment! I knew you would eventually!
    I say go for the apprenticeship! Why not learn a skill and love what you do? I've contemplated going into beauty school, but I'm going to research more into it. I'm starting to kick myself for not learning a skill, earning a certificate and getting a job! Uuuuggghh!

  2. Glad you are having fun and are still in a clean house and entertaining! cool!


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