Sad.

I feel really guilty. And sad. After venting about Petra's pooing habits yesterday I noticed that she was trying to go, but nothing happened. She started bleeding from the effort and I deduced she must be constipated. She must have been constipated for days, hence the little poos here and there and I had no idea. I feel awful I regret being annoyed and not paying closer attention. The vet said that she could have a possible pelvic deformity which narrows her pelvis and causes chronic constipation. In this case she would need to be on laxatives and have a weekly enema for the rest of her life and would be in constant pain...so we would have to put her down. Another cause could be a deadly virus, in which case she may only have a couple months to live while her system shuts down. :( The final cause could have been something she'd eaten causing the blockage...but they didn't mention finding any blockages on the phone so I just don't know.

I feel so upset. I picture at least 10 years with this baby. I imagine our kids playing with her in the future and how she and Bean would be close friends and play mates. I'd made her a part of our family. I know if she is terminally ill, having her put down is for the best but I just don't want to lose this little kitten. She didn't do anything to deserve this. I love her.