Tuesday, December 1, 2009

What Not to Wear

People have been saying things to me this past year like "your hair always looks so good," "you always look so cute when we go out," "I know I have to make an effort when I'm around you or else I'll look rediculous." I've officially become High Maintenance. I've become That Girl. I ALWAYS have my hair done, I ALWAYS have some variation of makeup and I ALWAYS put a lot of thought into my appearance even if it's just to go to the grocery store. Why?? I blame What Not to Wear!!! Seriously!! Stacey London and Clinton Kelley have changed me for life and I don't think there's anything I can do about it. People ask me "how do you get your hair to look good all the time?" Um...I style it EVERY DAY. It's not like I roll out of bed looking like it took me an hour to get ready....it probably did take an hour. Or more. lol

Oh, can I just say that the UK What Not to Wear is HORRIBLE???? I don't know WHAT possesses those women to think that the things they are dressing their guests in looks good but it's painful to watch! So I don't. And I miss Stacy and Clinton. :(

One of the things that's been hard on me moving here to moranbah is that NO ONE makes an effort! Everyone is so low-maintenance when it comes to their appearance and I just stand out like a sore thumb. I always feel over-dressed and over-done. So I've been trying to play it down a bit lately... This is why, just for fun, I've made a What Not to Wear special for myself. Even if I can't play in a dressing room every week anymore I can still try to have some fun!


Okay, so one of my fave things is mvm.com . It's tons of fun! You get to make a 3-d model of yourself and then try on all these clothes and it REALLY gives you a good idea of what NOT to wear and I have actually been very very surprised by some of the things that look really good on me. I love studying shapes and fabrics and how a ruffle here or a pouf there can really add balance and shape in a good way and how a metallic sheen or a shoe strap in the wrong place can look just HORRIBLE.

Here's some fun What Not To Wears and What TO Wears that I put together for my model. :)

What NOT to Wear: On a Date

WHY would I wear this?? Maxi dresses are REALLY popular right now. I think some of them are great and some of them are awful....the one I tried on here is one I actually really loved on the model; it doesn't have a dust-ruffle hem, it's belted at the waist, it has a lot of movement instead of being your typical sheath style, and the colors are REALLY pretty. I think this one is also a little more dressy and wouldn't be out of place at a nice al-fresco cafe at the harbor which is a place Chris would likely take me out. It would also be nice and cool which is important in summer here.

But apparently I just can't pull off the Maxi look. I'm not even going to try...they ALL look frumpy on me. They look frumpy on a LOT of people actually...I wonder if they know how bad they look... The accessories I chose are things I actually really like, but the pendant necklace combined with the length of the dress is just too much going on. I love those bangles too, but they bring attention to my wide hips which is not what we want at ALL!

Wear THIS: On a Date

The second look is probably a little bit shorter than I should wear, but the style is awesome! I think a lot of people make the mistake of wearing drape empire-waisted dresses thinking that they hide their fat, but they can really add a LOT of pounds that are not there (see my maxi dress for an example.) This style has a lot of structure and emphasizes the fact that I really do have a waist. The necklace I chose brings attention to my top half, the smallest part of me, instead of dragging the eye down to my middle the way a longer necklace would. I love this

What NOT to Wear: Shopping With Girlfriends

WHY would I wear this?? Hey now, this would be a seriously comfy outfit to wear on an outing for holiday Starbucks lattes and maybe shopping and a movie after! The whole 80's look is really on-trend and the ballet flats would be super comfy if we were doing a lot of walking. The tights would keep my legs warm and are usually worn with these tunic dresses which is why I chose them. I wouldn't have to think about weather my rolls were rolling out when I sat down and I would be SO cozy and comfortable and that's important when your with you're girls!

Okay, okay, so looking at this you're probably thinking "WOW. That is REALLY bad." BUT people wear stuff like this all. the. time! As you can see, the whole Oversized look is BAD if you are not seriously skinny! It does make us feel safe because we can let it all hang out and no one will see and yes it would be sooo comfy....but it just looks awful. It's an all around bad idea. I love the sweater, it's very festive and metallic but the empire waist and chunky knit just add 20 lbs that I don't need and in all the wrong places. The tights cut my legs off at the ankle and draw attention where they would otherwise just blend and this adds a lot of heft and makes them look really short. The pendant necklace just drag the visual interest down down down to my tummy and hips which just isn't a good idea here at all. The bell sleeve would normally be a good idea for me, but not even they can save this serious fashion disaster.

Wear THIS:Out With Girlfriends

Okay now, THIS is something that I love and do wear absolutely all the time. I've got my fitted tank with a wool shrug to emphasize my waist and also to add balance between my shoulders and hips. I've got my dark-wash boot-cut jeans because I KNOW light washes and whiskering just make my hips gain weight in the worst way. The scarf does all kinds of awesome things here visually; besides adding a pop of color, it draws the eye up and in which automatically slims and trims because people are looking at the smallest parts of me instead of my hips where I carry all my weight. The metallic flats aren't doing anything special other than looking cute and fun as opposed to a boring black flat or WORSE running shoes.

For some reason people in Texas think it's okay to wear running shoes with absolutely any outfit. I don't know if people do this everywhere but it is like a PLAGUE in Texas. I used to be guilty of it when I was growing up, but I was young and clueless....I assume that everyone who continues to do this just doesn't care or couldn't be bothered putting on other shoes. I think you can get away with it if you're doing the J-Lo track-suit look and your shoes are clean and fresh....otherwise it just looks messy. Maybe if you're going to the grocery store for like, 5 minutes because you're in the middle of a recipe and they were the first shoes by the door....but really it's not hard to throw on a pair of cute flats or sandals instead. Make an effort people! You never know who you're going to meet....

Okay, I have to admit, the outfit I feel SAFEST in is just t-shirt, jeans and tennishoes:

I used to wear some variation of this EVERY SINGLE DAY until I got sick of being mistaken for a 16 y/o at 20 and decided I should probably start dressing more appropriately for my age. I always had a few things ready for when I wanted to dress up...when I worked at David's Bridal I had to buy a lot of business casual type clothing which allowed me to start seeing myself as an adult. I can confidently wear heels with jeans now and not feel like an idiot which is saying a lot. But I suppose I shouldn't judge those who just aren't there yet, should I? At the same time, we all have to grow up at some stage if we want our peers and society to take us seriously so I'm glad that I've made that leap now rather than trying to wrap my mind around a heeled shoe at 30. lol


  1. I so love your "what not to wear".....I need you back here, because you used to dress me all the time. How come I can look at the "What not to wear" stuff and know that I have worn stuff like that all the time????? Remember that day you came to my work and took me out to buy a dress and shoes so I could go to the "after 5" event at work and not look dorky?( like you dressed me and I left from the store to the event)
    YOU have me thinking Stacy and Clinton all the time!It's scary how good they are at dressing people. however, you are pretty darn good at knowing what looks good on them as well.So, I am 50 and still have not made the leap to heels with much of anything. I think it's just too late for me!

  2. You are seriously the cutest ever. I love your what to wears! I also think that it's dumb that you have to "take it down a notch" because you shouldn't have to! In fact, I'm trying to take it up a notch because that's how I feel comfortable. I feel like lately I have been slacking and so my new years resolution this year is to take better care of my self (in all aspects).

    You should stick to doing your thing, don't change because they think you are over dressed to go to the grocery store, tell them to shove it. LOL One day I will wear a party dress to the grocery store, and I'll take a picture of it and post it on my blog in honor of you! =)

  3. If it makes you feel good... then do it! I know if I go out of my house with out my hair done and make up on, people think I'm sick! LOL...

    You should feel honored that people feel the need to "dress up" in your presence!


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